DYFL’s Neighborhood

So I'm kinda skipping the Casper Van Dien breakfast. It's not that I don't really appreciate our department's genuinely thoughtful effort to put us in a room with free eggs and a celebrity, but frankly, I don't need the food and I'd prefer not to have an awkward encounter with Jamie wherein I actually have to see the hatred in her eyes. Maybe "hatred" is too strong a word, but I can absolutely do without the uncomfortable little dance of watching her make excuses to get away from me. I know I've been harping on this for three posts in a row now, but it's genuinely upsetting...imagine if you have a really close friend who, after all you've been through, suddenly decided that you had somehow slighted them and broke off your friendship without so much as a verbalized reason or discussion.

I'll admit, though: when I get mad at someone, I do tend to ignore them for a bit, so really, if our friendship does recover from this, I'll look at it as karmic retribution for the silent treatments I've given her (and Jennie, when she told me she was moving away...sorry). But I think the difference is that I get mad and then get over it after a bit...with Jamie, I almost feel like she's so caught up in her own situation and (if I'm right about why she's mad) feels so indignant about my "slight" that she may actually end our friendship completely without further discussion.

Which, frankly, pisses me the hell off...after everything I've done for her, after all the times I've listened to her problems, after I've been a reliable and constant shoulder upon which she could cry (literally and figuratively), her thoughts immediately went to "he thinks he's better than me and he's a bastard" and gave me absolutely no opportunity to explain or talk it over. I'm not even talking about romantic feelings (which are rapidly dissipating...even if we get through this spat, I have to distance myself from her, romantically...I couldn't fathom being in a relationship with someone who gets mad at perceived slights and won't talk about anything), but just basic friendship.

Then why do I feel like I'm going through a breakup (aside from the actual breakup that I may be going through with Alexandra, speaking of karmic retribution)? No, it's nowhere near as lacerating and painful as my breakup with Tina (ah, first love) and it's not even as emotionally difficult as my breakup with Krystal, but it's more at the low end of the dating-breakup spectrum than it is at the high end of the friendship-breakup spectrum. This is clearly attributable to my more-than-friends aspirations, but it's also because she truly is a bright, shining respite here at work. I can't claim that work has been satisfying or pleasing of late for me, and while I won't comment on her feelings, I'll say that we have been able to commiserate and have grown a great deal closer throughout the duration of our friendship due to this fact. Sure, I have other "work friends," but they reside at around a 6 or 7 out of 10 for "closeness," while Jamie was at a 10 (I would get all hyperbolic here and say that she was a 12 or something, but given that she's always had this rather annoying habit of keeping me at a distance sometimes, I'll stay within the boundaries of reality).

Whenever something like this happens (a close friend gets mad at me, a breakup, some change that involves friends, etc.), I tend to become somewhat panicked in addition to the basic sadness/anger. Things like this just tend to amplify how very alone I am or feel...for better or worse, Jamie is/was a load-bearing pillar in my life....

Anyway, things are getting maudlin now, and work is flaming my fire of righteous indignation. This week needs to end and I need to get the hell away from everyone...unfortunately, rather than being able to curl up in my hidey-hole this weekend, I have to drive to Las Vegas and spend three days and two nights in a single hotel room with my parents and sister. Terrific. Just what I want to do. I'm totally in the mood to be personable. Fuck.

No longer blogging here. See adamkuban.com

This may be a ridiculously stupid idea, but it almost seems perverse enough to work: what if--bear with me now--what if Jim Carrey were cast as The Riddler in Batman 3? That is to say, the sequel to The Dark Knight, not some trippy time traveling adventure wherein we all go back to 1992 and listen to those rumors about Tim Burton's follow-up to Batman Returns (sort-of detailed here...though a random Geocities site run by Dirk McNobody isn't the most reliable source). Though along that train of thought, while I would have been very interested to see another Burton Batman film (particularly with The Riddler), I can't say that I would simply wish Batman Forever out of existence. It's not a good movie, but I have an enormous amount of nostalgia for it. Plus, where else could we hear Pat Hingle's immortal "Maybe if we got some kind of...horn" line? Or how else would America have learned the term "Joygasm"? No...Batman Forever needed to happen, and I would fight, Timecop-style, to keep it in existence.

But anyway...obviously, Carrey wouldn't be playing the same Riddler as he did in Batman Forever. Rather, he would be playing Christopher Nolan's version of The Riddler, whatever that would be (ie: based in a reality, part of the overall thematic concept of the film as opposed to just a villain stuck in for Happy Meal purposes, probably not dressed in a neon green jacket with flashing question marks). Strictly in terms of the new movie, it would be an interesting contrast to have someone so broad and "humorous" alongside such relatively staid and dramatic actors and against Nolan's real-world backdrop. The Joker was certainly broad-ish, but he still clearly fit into the world Nolan created. In a way, Carrey's Riddler would work against that world and make for an interesting contrast...and other pretentious thoughts.

But if one were to broaden the terms and remember Carrey's previous take on the character, it would be an out-of-left-field casting choice and a fascinating comparison of tone, direction and performance. For the performance, it would be an interesting study of Carrey's broadened range since 1995. At that point, his main films had been in Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber and The Mask...if cast in the 2011 Batman 3 (my God, it's crazy to think that three years from now will be 2011...), he will have solid performances from Man on the Moon, The Truman Show and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind under his belt. One has to admit, he has grown as an actor since his Fire Marshal Bill days, so he could bring a healthy amount of gravitas to his performance as the damaged Riddler that Nolan would demand.

Plus, how often do actors get a chance to revisit the same role under such drastically different circumstances? Sequels and the like don't count...it's sort of like Dame Judi Dench being cast as M in the Brosnan Bond movies and then being cast as M in the Craig Bond movies, even though they clearly take place in different worlds. It's like that, only imagine that M changed along with the world as the Bonds changed...she sort of did, but while that's like an apples to slightly-bruised apples comparison, Carrey in Batman Forever and whatever Nolan's Batman 3 is called would be like an apples to solar paneling comparison. In other words, it would be fascinating. Get on the bus, Nolan: this is where you're headed.

It's just a thought...but it's still a better thought than the boring "Johnny Depp as The Riddler" cries that have been going up around the internet. I like Johnny Depp as much as the next person (though maybe not if the next person is a girl), but...it's just such a dull choice. The "Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin" concept, though...that could be very interesting. But I thought I read somewhere that there's no room for The Penguin in Nolan's world? Admittedly, The Penguin is way more of a Tim Burton character than a Christopher Nolan character, but if Two-Face can work....

Enough about that. Like I said yesterday, I'm going to my BD-Live demo today at the Disney lot...that might be interesting. If nothing else, it gets me away from the office. And speaking of the office, I don't really have anything more to say about Jamie. I texted her yesterday evening to say that I was "sorry that she was mad" (note that I didn't say I was just sorry...I'm not sorry for telling her what my boss told me to do) and she wrote back last night to say "It's fine, don't worry about it." Which is clearly code for "Whatever, I'm still mad and don't want to talk." So...whatever indeed. We might make up after all of this blows over or we might not...either way, I almost feel like I need to distance myself a bit. It's not okay that she gets under my skin this way and that she won't even talk about what's wrong when she gets mad. It's also not okay that I can be there for her for a million different little issues and problems, but I make one misstep and I'm cut off. Extremely lame. I hardly want to make her an enemy or even make some definitive statement about the status of our friendship, but I really need to a find a new crush/actual girlfriend and get myself out of this painful loop.

Speaking of which: it's Day 3 in my "Alexandra Hasn't Called Me Back" Watch. I figure that if I don't hear from her during the weekend, then it's really over.

One other brief note of interest: I was in a meeting yesterday with one of our studio's top lawyers who has been one of the people "at the table" for the Director's Guild, Writer's Guild and Actor's Guilds negotiations. While I clearly can't discuss the details of what she said, it was a really interesting look into how these negotiations have been and are being handled. All I can say is: I would put a bullet in my head after day one. It's astonishing to hear about the insane level of detail they go into with regards to consent and payments, etc. (but not surprising).

I think that's it for today...time to get some lunch. I'm leaving today at 3 to get out to Burbank, which is nice, except that this thing goes until, like, 9 PM. So while there will be some nice overtime involved, that's pretty much my whole night. But then, what else would I be doing? Would I rather be sitting at home and thinking about depressing topics or at a fancy Producer's Guild presentation and cocktail party? Hm....

Oh, one more thing, speaking of depressing topics: I just finished Book 4 of Scott Pilgrim and now I'm miserably depressed. February 4th, 2009 for the next book?!? Probably 2010 for the sixth and final book?!? What the fuck?!? And yeah, Michael Cera as Scott Pilgrim? Absolutely not. Try again, Hollywood.

It hasn't been the greatest week so far. I ended up skipping the Pineapple Express screening this morning for a variety of reasons: a) I wasn't desperate to see the movie (especially on a Wednesday morning...truly, beggars can't be choosers, but I still chose not to see it at such an incongruous time), b) I wasn't anxious to sit next to my co-workers and pick out who laughed the hardest at the pot humor and/or experience the awkward silence after lines like, "It smells like God's vagina", and c) I've already written about this in an e-mail and an IM conversation (the e-mail wasn't specifically about this, but it was brought up nonetheless), but basically, Jamie got mad at me.

Because I am so astonishingly lazy (and because, as I said, I've already written about it twice), I'm actually just going to copy and paste what I wrote in this morning's e-mail (with my apologies to Jackie):

"Basically, my boss told me that, now that I'm no longer an assistant, I shouldn't be helping out at these sorts of things [screenings and meetings and such] (usually, they get all the assistants to help by giving out tickets, helping set up food, doing little errands, etc.)...he said that this time was okay, but from now on, I should "elevate myself." Which makes sense...last week, I gave a presentation to our entire department, but I was still asked to hand out raffle tickets at the beginning. Lame.

But since this screening was Jamie's province (Publicity sets up the employee screenings), I volunteered to help her this morning, even though I knew it would potentially irritate my boss. When I arrived at the screening bright and early to help, I offhandedly told Jamie what my boss had said to me, and she promptly told me that she didn't need my help anyway and that she didn't want to speak to me at that time. So I left...hence my bad mood. So the situation sucks for a variety of reasons, but it especially sucks because things are so crappy overall right now and the last things I need are a) Jamie being mad at me, and b) feeling bad about myself for trying to follow my boss's instructions."

So yeah...that's what happened. I was put into a slightly awkward--but reasonable--position by my boss, but still went in to help for this event, only to have my help rebuffed by a pissed-off Jamie, who apparently interpreted my explanation of the situation as, "Well, my job is more important, thus, I can not degrade myself anymore by helping"...which wasn't what I was saying at all, especially since I was just conveying what my boss instructed. She actually told me that she wouldn't "ask His Highness to help"...seriously? So that's making me feel pretty terrible. I feel like there may have been a miscommunication somehow...maybe I didn't explain it well enough? Maybe I didn't tell her that, after my boss talked to me, I specifically asked him if I could help out for just today, so as to still be available if she needed me?

On the other hand, knowing what she's been feeling of late (which I won't get into here...it seems improper to discuss her feelings in a public forum), I can sort of see why she jumped to that response...but it doesn't mean that she should get mad with me. We're friends and I was there to help...get mad at my boss or the situation or life or something, but not me.

The ironic thing is that I had a terrible nightmare this morning right before I woke up for the day: in it, our whole department was at some weird forest getaway with cabins and the like and I was there to help my boss with a presentation (which was taking place on an island). However, before the presentation started, Jamie got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me...she just rode away on her bicycle. This upset me greatly, but I tried to get to the presentation on time...which I failed to do. This then made my boss angry with me. And then I woke up and it all sort of happened in real life...before I realized that she was mad at me and right after I told her what my boss had said, I told Jamie about my nightmare. She apparently failed to see the irony...or maybe she did, but she didn't want to talk to me at the time (which she said flat out: "Can't you tell that I don't want to talk to you right now?"). So that sucked.

But as for Pineapple Express, I hesitate to express the views of others in lieu of my own, but from those who did attend the screening this morning, I heard that the movie was...okay. The exact phrases I heard were: "funny," "not as funny as I thought it would be," "too long with the action at the end," and "was there a plot?" Apparently, the consensus around my desk was that stoners and college kids will love it...a shocking revelation, if true. I'm thinking of taking my little sister to see it in Las Vegas this weekend.

Did I mention I'm going to Las Vegas this weekend? For the third time in two months. Again, I know it's bad form for me to bitch and moan about having to go to Las Vegas ([hitching sobs] "I...don't...want to go to Las Vegas! No...more...shows...or [sniffle] fancy...dinners! It's...so...hot...except...by...the...pools...wahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"), but I think I've had my fill of late...especially since we recently had a meeting for CES 2009 that basically consisted of the executives looking at me whenever the words "on-floor demo" came up...which was often (CES takes place in Las Vegas every year). Of course, I also shouldn't be bitching and moaning about getting sent on work trips or being relied upon by the higher-ups...this whole paragraph is just a whiny whine.

But still, I must admit to being slightly perturbed that my dad, stepmom and sister are meeting me in Las Vegas for a semi-annual get-together...they couldn't come the extra 250 miles or so to Los Angeles? The last time my dad was in LA, it was around October or November 2004, soon after I had moved out here...I didn't know where to take him and we ended up just driving around in traffic. But now, I have a new, spacious apartment and I know tons of places to visit. Plus, my sister has never been to Los Angeles, and being the star-struck teenage girl that she is, she's been yearning to visit and see the sights (and get a tour of our studio's lot). My stepmom, being a big wheel in the convention center arena, has been to LA plenty of times, but she does like beaches.... Basically, they should have come out here to visit, especially with my new apartment and vaguely interesting job.

Plus, there's the issue of getting to Las Vegas: having driven back and forth just a few weeks ago and having recently made a voyage to and from San Diego, as well (not to mention my moving truck adventure early last month from the San Francisco area back down to LA), I've had my fill of driving long distances...but plane tickets are at least $275 round trip at this point, so I had planned to bite the bullet and drive. However, today I found a round trip ticket for about $177...psychologically, a more appealing price point. Unfortunately, the return flight is at 6:15 AM...which is not an issue for me (get up at 4:15, get home by 8-ish, sleep for a few hours, done), but my dad basically said that he's not okay with that (even though I would be paying for the ticket). That's one major issue I have with visiting my parents: I always end up deferring to their decisions, even though I'm ostensibly an adult. So it looks like I'm back to driving...(and yes, my dad did offer to pay the extra hundred dollars or so, but I just don't feel right taking the money...which probably just disqualified my argument for many of you, but whatever).

Speaking of being disqualified, I called Alexandra on Monday night...I didn't feel like I should just "leave it alone," as that felt particularly dickish and cowardly. But she didn't answer...I left a message (basically just a "hey, give me a call if you get a chance" message...nothing fancy), but as of this afternoon, she hasn't called back. And I'm okay with that. I hope she doesn't hate me...I don't hate or dislike her. I just don't want to be in that romantic relationship, especially given the distance. Her sister probably hates me, though...but I did just send her those free DVDs, so I'm sure we're cool.

But all is not total gloom and doom...there are two nuggets of sunshine that are keeping me from smashing my head through my computer monitor. One is related to The Counterfeiters on Blu-ray. Allow me to quote from a review of the disc at High-Def Digest:

"Hoping the [sic] head off negative customer reaction, the back of the disc case contains the following disclaimer: 'This film employs a variety of film stocks and grain structures in order to tell the story. This intentional visual style has been retained for this high definition presentation, as per the filmmaker's intent.' In other words, 'The Counterfeiters' is a rough-looking movie, never meant to be shiny HD eye candy. Shot on 16mm film, the photography is quite grainy from start to finish, rather soft in detail, and drab in color scheme. All of which feels completely appropriate for the subject matter. I can't speak for everyone, but a sparkly Technicolor fantasia about the Holocaust would not be a movie I'd want to see."

That disclaimer on the back of the case? I wrote it...and in any other week, I'd let this fact slip by like tears...in rain. But this week, I need all the happiness I can get, and I'm slightly proud of the fact that my disclaimer made it untouched through a number of approvals before getting to the actual packaging. I'll try not to break my arm patting myself on the back.

The other sliver of sunshine comes from the fact that I'm helping out with yet another BD-Live demo tomorrow night. But while this fact would normally fall in the "negatives" column (seriously, this is, like, my eight millionth BD-Live demo...no, billionth), it's actually good because it's for the Producers Guild of America, which means that I'll be amongst many people that I've only read about in the pages of Entertainment Weekly and Variety and the like. Additionally, Van Ling will be presenting his work on the Blu-ray of Independence Day. For those non-nerds out there, Van Ling is basically James Cameron's DVD producer of choice and produced classic DVD special editions for films like Terminator 2, The Abyss, Titanic, the Star Wars films, etc. So while I'll be attending in a professional capacity, I may not be able to resist having a nerd breakdown and asking a barrage of questions.

So...that's that for now, I guess. This has been a weird day and I'm kind of looking forward to it being over. I can't believe tomorrow is Thursday already...and did I mention that, thanks to our studio's production and release of Starship Troopers 3 on DVD and Blu-ray, we're having a departmental breakfast with Casper Van Dien on Friday? How...exceedingly random. He was actually at Comic-Con, signing at our booth...he seemed nice. Watch this space on Friday to see what Casper Van Dien eats for breakfast...hopefully it's fear....

I actually do have work to do today...and yet, I can't really force myself to do any of it. This lethargic attitude isn't usually conducive to blog-writing, either, but I kind of want to push my last post further down the page. I failed to really consider the fact that, by posting my ex's righteous written anger, I would then end up looking at it whenever I visited my page. It was more an act of exorcising old demons rather than a strictly logical decision, but in the cold light of day, I can't say that I want to be reminded of her words on such a regular basis. That doesn't mean that I'll be deleting it or anything...just shoving it further and further down the page, until it eventually becomes just another thread in the overall tapestry of my blog.

But then, in order to progress this alleged "tapestry," I guess I have to come up with something to write...not an easy task on a subdued, hazy, woeful Monday morning. Not much has happened since last night...did I mention that I saw the recent David Mamet film, Redbelt? While I feel like Mamet's movies can be really hit or miss (State & Main and House of Games both kind of fizzled for me), Redbelt is surprisingly solid and entertaining. It's 99 minutes of engrossing character study and is definitely an overlooked gem of early 2008. I know I sound suspiciously like a commercial, but when it comes to DVD (and Blu-ray) on August 26th, I highly recommend renting it. I also re-watched The Hunt for Red October, newly released on Blu-ray...such a great movie. I remember that I taped it off Cinemax or something back in middle school and used to watch just the first few minutes to listen to the score...but then I finally sat down during senior year of high school to actually watch the whole movie and was greatly entertained.

So this is weird: as I've said before, I'm pretty good friends with Alexandra's older sister, Jacquelyn (we were super-close in elementary school and have drifted since then to being "friends who get together once every few years, but still enjoy those get-togethers"). While Alexandra and I used to speak every day, as I've also said, that's dwindled to once in a while (I think it's been about two weeks since we last spoke...). However, while it's clear that I've been negligent in my relationship-y duties (Alexandra is definitely the kind of person who feels that boys are responsible for these aspects of a relationship while girls are responsible for those aspects, and this extends to calling), this apparently hasn't affected Jacquelyn...she just e-mailed me to ask about getting some DVDs, told me my new Facebook picture looks good and that her new husband says hi. Maybe Alexandra hasn't conveyed our recent silence to Jacquelyn...or maybe Alexandra's not upset about it...or maybe Alexandra is upset about it and Jacquelyn doesn't care. Either way, it seems odd.

That's really all I have to say right now. I know everything lately has been surface-level (and navel-gazing), but...so be it for now. It's been a weird summer, that's for sure. We get a free employee screening of Pineapple Express on Wednesday...maybe it'll be good. It's certainly something to break up the week's monotony.

EDIT: As I was typing this, I got a response from Jacquelyn (I wrote her back and told her about my chat with Seth Rogen, et al...she's a big fan). She wrote back: "JERM!!! I am sooo jealous! I want to hang out with them! When r u coming to FL again?" Which indicates that she thinks I'm coming back to Florida...presumably to see Alexandra...awkward....

What the fuck is wrong with me? Do I have some perverse inner desire to torture myself or am I just bored? Or perhaps (most likely) I just started down a seemingly entertaining road, only to inevitably crash head-first into a wall of shame.

In an effort to decrease the number of saved e-mails (it used to only be 2% filled and now it's 3%...that clearly can't be), I spent some time this evening going through my old e-mails and deleting those that I no longer needed to keep (hey, I remember when I bought that DVD off of Amazon in March 2006!). This led me back in time, back to January 2005, when I first opened my Hotmail account (having just shut down my original AOL account...remember AOL?). Back then, the world was a different place: George W. Bush was President of the United States, a young filmmaker named Clint Eastwood made a name for himself with his boxing picture, Million Dollar Baby, and gas prices were around $2 a gallon or so (highway robbery!).

I had only been in Los Angeles for about six months and was still working for G4 as a Transcriber alongside my newfound pal and co-worker Torie. Having only recently graduated from NYU, my eyes were filled with stars and dreams as I squinted into the bright sunshine in the Hollywood sky. Additionally, I had a long-distance girlfriend named Krystal, who I had been dating since August of the previous year (for about two weeks in person before I moved to Los Angeles and we went from "getting to know you" to "serious long distance relationship"). Of course, by the end of June 2005, our relationship was over...and apparently, if one were bored on a Sunday night and felt like reviewing old e-mails, one could even trace the loving ascent and painful decline of said relationship.

That was a stupid idea. You wouldn't think that three year old e-mails from a spurned lover would have any real impact on one's present-day feelings, but you'd be wrong (as long as the person reading is overly sensitive about things and has the emotional maturity of a ten year old girl). But in my defense, I don't think such prose has an expiration date:

"Whatever feelings I had when I sent [those postcards, CDs and letters] are dead. I have nothing left for you, you selfish, self-pitying, self-righteous, lying little fuck. Lose my numbers and don't bother responding to this. No response will be read. There is nothing else I want to hear from you."

Is it self-pitying to copy and paste this passage in a blog post three years after the fact just to demonstrate why I'm still upset by these very words? It is? Huh...I guess she was right about me, then. Actually, I wouldn't really debate some of those accusations...but still...damn. Still, she had a right to be mad...I don't feel great about how that whole situation ended, even though it was for the best. I won't get into a whole detailed breakdown of the events leading up to the above sentiments, but basically, we were in a long distance relationship, she wanted to move to Los Angeles "for us," that thought scared the hell out of me and I ended it before she moved so as to save us both from a much more difficult breakup down the road. That brief rundown makes me sound like a scared, stupid kid who didn't want to commit...which was mostly true, I guess, but I tried to be vaguely noble by ending things before they went too far...or any further.

Okay, none of that makes me sound good (not that I need to sound good, but in all honesty, it wasn't as one-sided as it seems), but this isn't about rehashing old sob stories. I guess the point of this post is: the past can be painful. Also, don't look through saved e-mails from old girlfriends, especially when you're gathering your courage to break up with a present girlfriend (even though Alexandra is not my girlfriend).

Fun fact, though: Krystal and I first started the breakup process (yes, it was a process that involved many painful phone conversations, varied emotions, tears, and for good measure, Hurricane Katrina [she was living in Louisiana at the time]) a week or so after Batman Begins came out in theaters...and now, it seems as though I may end up having my difficult conversation with Alexandra mere weeks after The Dark Knight has come out in theaters. Amazing! You can't make this stuff up!

While I think this voyage down Memory Lane happened coincidentally, it is appropriate that I would think about that time period now as I ready myself for my "talk" with Alexandra. The whole situation has been weighing on my shoulders for some time now...I told myself that I would do it this weekend, but given that it's already past midnight on the East Coast, it doesn't look like I succeeded. Good work, me.

Otherwise, though, it has been a pretty productive weekend: I got a haircut, did laundry, cleaned my apartment, went to Bed Bath and Beyond (I needed placemats and a napkin holder...DON'T JUDGE ME!!!), saw Jim and Jennie, took some naps, saw Step Brothers (actually pretty funny...I would sum up the movie by quoting one of the characters: "You realize this is totally fucked up, don't you? But Brennan sure can wear the shit out of that pirate hat"), etc. All in all, aside from the whole "didn't break up with my pseudo-girlfriend, even though dragging it out even longer will only make it more painful for everyone involved...oh, and you can't just not speak to her ever again, because that's childish and lame" thing, it wasn't a bad weekend. I even picked out a bed and will purchase it the weekend after next (both for financial and timing reasons). Exciting times.

So yeah...it's time to close the door on 2005 and return to 2008. While it's true that three years have gone by (three fucking years!), they've been productive years filled with love and learning and the like. I'm sure Krystal has found happiness between then and now, and maybe she doesn't even hate me anymore. Things will work out just fine, even in my current situation. Plus, Alexandra doesn't have my e-mail address. Score!

For your Friday viewing pleasure...Journey at the Center of the Earth:

As much as I loved The Dark Knight (and make no mistake: I did love it), there's absolutely a part of me that doesn't want to see it become the highest grossing film of all time. Second highest grossing? Sure, that's cool. It's probably better than whatever Star Wars movie is there now (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, apparently...followed by Shrek 2!? When did that happen?!). But number one? Please no...

It really has nothing to do with the overall quality of the movie...again, I felt that Dark Knight was a singularly excellent experience that worked as a social commentary, as an engaging character piece, and as a kickass summer action movie. I'd much rather see Dark Knight ascend the charts than Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (currently #6) or Transformers (#20!? Really, world? Really?). I will also happily press my contact at Warner Home Video to get me a copy of the Blu-ray as soon as humanly possible--in fact, I've already started laying the foundation for that--and I will happily re-watch the movie and all of its special features with a silly grin on my face. The Dark Knight is probably the first movie in a while that I've contemplated seeing twice in theaters (the last time I did that was...um...X-Men? Gladiator? Somewhere around the year 2000).

Okay, so I loved Dark Knight...then what's my beef with its potential unseating of the all-time box office champ? Well, as everyone probably knows, the current number one highest grossing film of all time is Titanic. "What!?" my one reader is currently exclaiming. "You'd rather see that stupid piece of garbage Titanic continue its reign of terror as the highest grossing film of all time? You clearly hated Heath Ledger, then, because any criticism against The Dark Knight is equivalent to pissing on Ledger's grave." (Speaking of which: grow the fuck up, people.) No, I don't hate Heath Ledger, but yes, I also love and adore Titanic...but even my hard-won adoration for James Cameron's sinking boat tragedy isn't the key factor in my defensiveness of its box office crown. Sure, I think Titanic is a technical triumph and an emotional powerhouse, and if I let it, it can make me cry every time I see it (maybe just teary-eyed...), but again, that's not my reasoning.

For better or worse, Titanic was basically a cinematic iceberg in my high school film-going experience. It came out a time when I was just starting to taste real independence (I had just gotten my driver's permit and started to spend time out of my house after school and on weekends) and just prior to a major emotional growth spurt. Mere months after its release, I found myself driving in my own car at my leisure to see a widely expanded group of friends and my first girlfriend. That period of time--basically halfway through tenth grade--was the start of the true halcyon days of my younger years, and given its domination of the box office and America's hearts, Titanic was a big part of the background. I remember reading Entertainment Weekly's huge article about the continued success of the movie as I sprawled across a hotel room bed with my friends at our State Drama Competition (Troupe 5363!!), I remember using its dialogue as constant punchlines during group gatherings, I remember anxiously driving my parents' minivan to Best Buy (all the way down US 41...terrifying at the time) the day it came out on video and plunking down my saved cash to buy the widescreen VHS...we even wrote it into our 1998 Variety Show script (alongside at least one performance of My Heart Will Go On...yay for Rose Mendola). While my high school memories obviously extend far past this single movie, there's no doubt that Titanic had a massive impact on the culture during an extremely formative and nostalgic time in my life.

So dammit, I don't want to see it bumped down to number two. Why should this generation's youth get the number one spot? It's not even fair, really...Titanic earned that number one spot. Even detractors of the film have to admit that its rise to a domestic gross of $600 million over the course of four and a half months was damn impressive. It only grossed about $28 million in its first weekend...these days, that would be a bomb. But Titanic continued to earn money for months...it was Number One at the box office until April 1998, until Lost In Space came along and kicked it away. I think the fact that Titanic was eventually overcome by the egregious Lost in Space can be looked back upon as a harbinger of the general quality to come over the next decade.

But Dark Knight...although it's doing amazingly well at the box office, one has to factor in the ridiculous increase in ticket prices and the number of theaters. Titanic opened in 2,674 theaters during its opening weekend at a time when tickets usually cost between $6 and $8...The Dark Knight opened in 4,366 theaters at a time when tickets cost between $9 and $12. Of course, those Star Wars lovers could say the same thing about ET, whose fans could say the same thing about Jurassic Park, whose fans could say the same thing about Titanic...and the Gone With The Wind whiners would say the same thing about all of them: you have to adjust for inflation. If one were to do that, Dark Knight falls to 99th on the list, while Gone With The Wind towers above everything else with a massive gross of $1,430,476,000...take that, Titanic ($908,688,900).

However, pure box office numbers are crass and boring...it's not about Dark Knight making more than Titanic, per se. It's about Dark Knight replacing Titanic in the public consciousness as The Highest Grossing Film Of All Time. It's also a little bit about the filmmakers involved: I'm okay with Steven Spielberg or James Cameron jockeying for all-time box office champ (George Lucas, though...ugh), as I greatly respect both of them as masters of their craft. But Christopher Nolan...I don't love him yet. Oh, he's far from a Brett Ratner or Len Wiseman, but...I just can't swallow the idea that the director of Insomnia and Batman Begins will earn that crown. Yes, I know he also did Memento and The Prestige (and again, I didn't hate Batman Begins...I just get irritated by the fans declaring it as the second coming of superhero films...which I guess they won't be doing with The Dark Knight being what it is...), but he's just no Spielberg and no James Cameron. Which is narrow-minded and silly, I know, but....

Anyway...that's my take on the matter, borne out of nostalgia and elitism. I just feel like Titanic really earned that number one spot, and somehow, if it falls to The Dark Knight, then my youth will truly be dead. Or something.

Apparently there was an earthquake here in Los Angeles about an hour ago...and much like my situation with Alexandra, I felt nothing (zing!). I actually feel a bit bad about that joke I just made, but it was ever so witty (relatively speaking), and so I will keep it there...but I'll qualify it later with my actual feelings...just you wait....

But anyway, thank you to those who texted to inquire as to my safety post-earthquake. It was apparently a 5.8, which is "moderate"...my co-workers were talking about feeling dizzy and watching things sway, but again, I was clearly too focused on my newly purchased copy of The Hunt for Red October on Blu-ray to notice (which could be part of the reason why I missed it: I was in the car recently so maybe I chalked it up to my car's shocks). Aside from today's event, I've experienced two earthquakes during my time here in Los Angeles, both in my former Van Nuys apartment: one was during the day and actually shook the pictures on my wall, and one woke me up in the middle of the night. Neither were scarring or did any actual damage.

With that at an end, I'll now look back at my last two days at Comic-Con...and say that nothing of note really happened. Sure, I saw some friends (very good to see you, Chris), hung out with co-workers (Jamie included...Jamie most of all, really), and even bought some comics (Scott Pilgrim = awesome), but overall, it was mainly just hectic and tiring and it was a relief to get home and unstrap the heavy weight of responsibility from my back. Of course, it did also plow through my weekend (I got home at 5:30 Sunday night), but I can't complain too much, given that I made some mad overtime money...still, I yearn for the coming weekend.

I did also see X-Files: I Want To Believe, But Really, I Just Can't Because This Sucks So Much. Yeah, it sucked...hard. I didn't go into the movie with lofty expectations or anything, but surprisingly, it didn't even meet my meager hopes. It was kind of inept on virtually every level, except for David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. I'm not a fan of the show (by which I mean that I've only seen Season One, not that I dislike the show...I liked what I saw, but I haven't bothered to watch any further) and I enjoyed the 1998 movie (even though I was unfamiliar with the conspiracy), but I completely understand why people love Mulder and Scully. While their interactions got pushed aside for a whole heap of ridiculous crap (a two-headed dog, some dying kid, Amanda Peet clearly being embarrassed by her dialogue), the few moments they had together were fun, even for someone unfamiliar with their routine. Really, they were the best part of the movie...not what they did, not anything else, but the two of them. Well, until the end credits...let me quote from an Ain't It Cool News review about this insanely ridiculous moment:

The movie's final shot is just mind-bendingly, stunningly, fanbase-killingly awful. You ready? I'm spoiling this:

The end credits feature a too-bouncy remix of Mark Snow's "X-Files" theme over shots of the snowscapes we've been seeing for the entire film. Gradually, the snow melts into water. Suddenly, mid-credits, you're flying over a sunny tropical seascape. A tiny rowboat sneaks into view. It contains a shirtless Mulder and a bikini-clad Scully -- apparently on some sort of post-horrorshow, relationship-healing vacation, where I guess they'll while away the days sipping rum punch until the aliens land.

The camera pauses over them, looking down -- and they look up and wave.

I am not making this up.

Everything wrong with "The X-Files: I Want to Believe" is summed up in that final shot, which is now the final image we have of these characters.

If Comic-Con had been a bad experience, I probably would have tried to make some connection between the awfulness of X-Files 2 and the convention...but it wasn't and my connection will go to waste. There were some rough moments (a screaming match with some bike cab drivers was probably a low point...I don't like confrontations and ended up looking away as my colleagues argued with them for at least twenty minutes) and some shining moments of glory (apparently, the executives and co-workers I was with at that Maxim party were impressed by my [drunken] moxie in getting past the velvet rope and introducing myself to the attending celebrities...they were talking about it at the dinner I skipped the next night and here at the office), along with a whole bevy of moments in between, but overall, it was a fun experience.

I didn't get my talk with Jamie, but I didn't push it too much after that first day because we were both so exhausted from the show. I told her that we could postpone it until we're back in LA and well-rested and she agreed. Beyond that, we had a good time...maybe one day, I'll dedicate an entire post to delving into my feelings about her (beyond what I've already said), but not today and not this week. I'll put a warning at the top beforehand, though, so as to ward away those who are disinterested.

And then there's Alexandra...I guess there's not too much to say about that situation. Our phone chats have gone from daily to semi-daily to their current state of weekly...at best. However, while I haven't called her, she also hasn't called me...I kind of wonder if this is the right thing to do, though. Let it die out, that is. I don't feel any ill will towards her and I hope she finds someone better suited to her needs and wants, but I'm not that person (especially since I live 3000 miles away). But I do wonder if I should call her and basically say, "So...we should just be friends...cool?" Or should I just let it go? The latter seems so cowardly and dickish, especially since I don't dislike her. And what if a month goes by and she finally calls to say, "What the hell?" If I were to say "I think being friends is better" at that point, wouldn't she be mad that I didn't tell her that earlier? You know? I suppose I'll just have to "man up" one of these days and make that dreaded call. Bummer.

Other than that, I'm back at work, hanging out. My boss and co-worker are out today (off-site meeting and sick, respectively), so I'm steering the Blu-ray ship today. I'm considering leaving at 5:30 to catch a 5:50 show of Step Brothers, but I don't know if I'm in the mood...I'm still tired after the weekend and kind of want to just go home and continue watching Lust, Caution (okay so far, but damn, it sure is two hours and forty minutes long). I also want to invite my old G4 contingent of friends over to my new apartment this weekend...which is an unrelated comment, sure, but it's something that's on my mind. Okay, I need to go get some more coffee.

What a weird night...but before I start talking about it, I want to say that I know it sounds as though these work trips are nothing more than excuses for drunken stumblings around whichever city we descend upon, but they're not. Except maybe a little. Well, they're not "excuses" to go out to expensive dinners and drink a lot, but they do facilitate such occurrences. But really, what else would we do at night in San Diego? Go to the Zoo? Sea World? Legoland (though I do love Legoland...)?

I'll try to make this whole story brief, as a) I understand that it's far less interesting to hear about someone's drunken adventures than it is to experience them firsthand, and b) I don't have much time, as Jamie will be down here in 35 minutes for our trek to the Convention Center (Day 3...and a half, if you count setup and Preview Night, which I do). Yes, Jamie, the person I railed against in my last post, will be meeting me for a fun jaunt to our shared destination. Not that I didn't try to blow her off for good...I ignored her earlier this week in the office, and when she arrived at the show yesterday afternoon, I ignored her some more and rebuffed her offer to help. She certainly got the point and stormed away. And then I felt terrible.

Long story short (32 minutes...), I accepted her offer to help (which was my way of apologizing without actually doing so, as I was still perturbed) and we chatted for a while in my little hidey-hole area of the booth where I do my technical stuff for our BD-Live demos. She apologized for being a bad friend lately (which was partially why I was perturbed in the first place), but she said it had been to everyone in her life due to pre-Comic-Con work stress. I told her some of my issues and why I had maybe overreacted in my anger (slightly...), and then we were okay...except for a big chat that we need to have. I explained that, before we could become complete friends again, we need to talk about my feelings for her. While that sounds creepy and weird, it's actually not (it's been an issue for well over a year at this point...we talked about it at Comic-Con last year), and she agreed that we should talk, especially with the newfound confirmation that she has a boyfriend.

But even though we went out to dinner and drinks last night with our teams (and my boss, who came down for the day and night), we didn't have our chat, but not because she was avoiding it. Rather, seeing that we would be drinking, she said that we can't talk when we're drunk, which I appreciated, as I'd like to have an actual conversation rather than half-thought-out proclamations. Again, I know this sounds weird, but the thing is, since I told her about my feelings back in May or June of last year, she still hasn't given me anything more than "let's be friends"...and if we're going to be the kind of friends she wants to be, I need some sort of reasoning or...something. It all sounds terrible and strange, like I'm the neediest person in the universe, but it's not and I'm not. It's almost like I need some sort of closure, if she won't date me...just tell me why, even if it's hurtful. When we went to Legoland, she talked about not having a spark with her last boyfriend (the one who was her friend and then said he wouldn't be her friend anymore if she wouldn't date him...I'm trying not to be that guy), but if she uses that with me, I'll have to call bullshit...we have tons o' spark.

Anyway...enough about her (for now). The night was quite enjoyable, as we started at a nearby restaurant (Confidential) and I drank enough to...make me stop feeling sorry for myself? One more Jamie digression and then I'm done: part of why I get so sensitive about this subject during these events (we talked about it at Comic-Con last year and CES in January, as well as a couple of times at work) is because I always get this big hotel room and it always seems so empty and lonely. Meanwhile, everyone else brings their husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, and I just feel...lonelier than usual. This time, Heather (friend/co-worker) has her boyfriend staying with her, and Jamie's team member asked Jamie why she didn't bring her boyfriend down (which a] double-confirmed this fact, and b] was clearly said by this team member to stir up trouble...). So these things always give me a rush of sadness in addition to the stress, anxiety and fatigue...hence my "crazier than usual" attitude.

Okay, back to the night, which I'll now summarize quickly: dinner was good, everyone got drunk, we sat next to James Franco (in town to promote Pineapple Express, our studio's movie), pictures were taken, some woman was getting a tattoo downstairs (of an artichoke...?), and then we went to our studio's Maxim party on the roof of some hotel where I crossed the velvet rope and introduced myself to Seth Rogan, James Franco (who we had not followed...), Judd Apatow and Kevin Smith. With the latter two, I even got to ask some questions and have relatively decent conversations...all were extremely nice (even James Franco, who was clearly laughing at me for being extremely drunk during our chat).

And now I'm at the show again...my time ran out earlier. But it's just as well...my stories were only going to vacillate between self-pitying and starfucking (but not literally). No stunning Comic-Con related news, really...I think today is the big crowd day (as opposed to the still-massive crowds from the last two or three days), so we're doing our demos on the half hour instead of on the hour. God help me.